everything changes. nothing changes.

paradoxes abound in the arena of spiritual awakening. one such paradox involves the concepts of change versus no change, or the possibility of doing something to effect awakening versus the idea that no sum of actions can produce such a state.

while on the surface these arguments seem to conflict, in truth they run parallel to one another and describe the process of awakening from alternate and equally valid perspectives.

on the one hand, undeniable changes take place during genuine spiritual development. habitual behaviors, tendencies of mind and emotional patterns are naturally shed as love replaces fear as our prevailing experience and the cornerstone of our relationship to life. goals that previously dominated our lives fizzle out and die, and a completely new way of being and reason for existing emerges.

and yet these very real changes only take place at the level of experience, thought, action. they are the natural byproducts of an abiding recognition of that which is ultimately changeless and ever-present within ourselves. the realization that nothing true about what we are ever has, can, or will change is what - seemingly paradoxically - brings about all of the changes in behavior typically associated with the awakened state.

but the cart should not be placed before the horse, since emulating the byproducts of awakening will never produce awakening itself. it would be as if someone shaved their head and laid in bed all day hoping to get cancer. forcing ourselves to act happy and nonjudgemental is exactly the type of repressive action that keeps us cut off from a direct confrontation with our true nature.

enlightenment cannot be brought about by action, but can be allowed to emerge naturally by ceasing to engage in the particular set of actions that have obscured it from our awareness. a certain kind of action is required in order to identify and relinquish these repressive behaviors, but it comes about through a more objective and non-manipulative stance than is traditionally associated with active involvement (it is more of an "allowing" than a "bringing about").

at some point in our spiritual development, then, we must accept that: (1) awakening or enlightenment is not what we imagined it to be, has not been tailored to specifically address our deepest desires and wildest fantasies; and (2) the part we can play in the process of awakening - if indeed the desire for it has matured sufficiently within us - does not in any way resemble pretending like we're already enlightened and free of conflict. it requires us to stop pretending, which on the level of behavior can take any number of forms (many of which don't exactly coincide with the idealized image of a serene, compassionate spiritual student).

ultimately, in order to awaken we've got to cut the crap and come face to face with all the shit we've been trying to avoid our entire lives. are we ready to do that? or would we rather keep on playing the game and deluding ourselves for a while? both options are fine, but the answer shows us whether or not we're truly serious about waking up.

battling the past vs. meeting the present

ten million years of ignorance and fear cannot stand up to a single moment of unguarded sincerity and the purity of love it reveals. the return to innocence is inspired by our innate perfection only as it reveals itself now, and is not achieved through the negation of our imperfect tendencies of the past. the ignorance of the past is what kept us from realization then, and only continues to exercise power over us until we release its hold on our identity. what has been done cannot and need not be undone, but this moment holds infinite and unlimited potential for new movement to take root. even the longest and most breathtaking journeys, however, begin with a single, simple step.

what really matters

i can sit here and think i'm extra special because i write about things the larger part of our race hasn't come to grips with. but when i turn away from this computer i'm forced to face what really matters: the way i pet my dog, how i brush my teeth. there is no purpose above living this life, simply and contentedly, striving always to acknowledge and respect my innate commonality with all those i share this existence with. whether we fear, hate, misunderstand, envy or ridicule eachother, we're all so very intimate. we are truly all part of the same family; a handful of beings floating around on this little blue ball. we're all we've got. deep down we all know that and love eachother.

love already understands

it's common knowledge that spiritual aspirants often confuse the quest for enlightenment as a drive to obtain and assimilate new information. spiritual awakening is actually a process of simplification. it involves the removal of obstacles, which take the form of beliefs about reality. information and beliefs are not inherently the enemy, but in the context of awakening they keep us separated from truth because they distract us from direct experience.

once the process of simplification reaches a point where there are no longer enough obstacles to eclipse the light of truth, realization occurs and understanding dawns in a natural way. information that was previously studied and incomprehensible is seen in a new light. from the previous standpoint, it was simply beyond reach, just as one can't see the contours of a forest when immersed within it no matter how hard one tries. the attempt to comprehend enlightenment intellectually is merely a diversionary tactic of the ego.

if one wants to emerge from the forest, one has to start walking up the mountain. it doesn't help to sit there under the trees and wonder about what the view's like from the mountaintop, or to merely read about and discuss others' accounts of that perspective. one simply starts taking steps, and while the view at the top is breathtaking, the steps themselves are just steps; nothing spectacular.

no split

there is no division between those who consider themselves "spiritual" and those who prefer a more "worldly" approach to living. these terms are just labels; convenient perhaps for communication's sake, but not pointing to an absolute reality.

in truth, we're all playing by the same rules. there is but one standard against which our destinies are measured, and that's the degree of our spiritual development.

but why call it spiritual? it's not spiritual; it's just life. calling it spiritual seems to relegate it to a separate compartment of life, as if a person could choose to be spiritual or not in the same way they can choose to be a sports enthusiast, a butterfly collector or a professional cook.

the difference is, if we're not into collecting insects we remain relatively unaffected by the world of entomology, while if we don't consider ourselves to be a "spiritual person" our subjective experience of life continues to be entirely determined by our level of truth-awareness.

claiming to be "non-spiritual" doesn't get us categorized differently and make us answerable to a different set of rules, exempt from the "spiritual" consequences of our actions. in the same way, merely claiming to be "spiritual" doesn't win us any favors. the realization of truth and happinness is arrived at through each step we take on the path, not by making statements about what kind of person we are.

spirituality in its most basic, real and powerful form is a mode of living that dissolves the obstacles to enlightenment, transporting us from confusion and ignorance to realization and on to growing levels of awareness of the true nature of reality (to say "the true nature of reality" is equivalent to saying "the truth about ourselves").

existential ignorance and all the forms of suffering and negativity it spawns are present to one degree or another until the realization of one's true nature dawns. once this recognition occurs, sincere love and its tremendously powerful healing potential is manifested in ever-expanding ways. in this sense, spiritual development is the most relevant aspect of life, and should logically be the prime object of focus for those who wish to bring an end to their suffering. it's the most important factor regarding one's own welfare and that of humanity.

this doesn't mean that everyone should drop what they're doing and take up a particular spiritual practice. since spirituality points directly to the subjective experience of life itself, "spiritual" lessons can be learned through any endeavor as long as there is a willingness to progress in one's understanding of "self" and life. information traditionally denoted as spiritual, however - if genuine - can be enormously catalytic for those who are consciously striving for truth in the same way an umbrella is more effective at keeping you dry in a storm than throwing a shopping bag over your head; it's specifically designed for the particular purpose of facilitating awakening.

love hurdle # 2

another big obstacle to the giving of love: feeling like it's not deserved. this is also a stingy stance, and also self-fulfilling. non-loving treatment begets a non-loving response, thus apparently validating the belief that love wasn't deserved in the first place.

the argument that love should be given only when it's deserved is obviously flawed. according to its own logic, by taking a non-loving stance we're making ourselves undeserving. it creates a chain where nobody is willing to be the first to give.

the only way to break this cycle is by loving even when "it's not deserved." in practicing this, one eventually realizes that the word "deserve" has nothing to do with love. love is simply a potential factor that can be applied to any situation.

similarly, when heat meets ice, ice melts. the ice isn't deserving or undeserving; it either comes apart in the presence of sufficient heat, or maintains its rigid structure in its absence. deciding not to love someone because they're "unworthy" is like walking up to a block of ice and saying: "these water molecules don't deserve heat because they're frozen."

the sincere gift of love (equally beneficial to the giver and receiver) melts all ice. those who seem undeserving, if loved sincerely and sufficiently, change and suddenly seem deserving. in reality, they were neither undeserving nor deserving; they were simply responding to the absence or presence of love. even the most intimidating blocks of ice can be melted given the correct application of sufficient heat.

but beware: learn to love yourself sincerely and completely before you test the veracity of this last statement. approaching a large block of ice without sufficient knowlege of the nature of heat and how to apply it adequately can result in frustration and disenchantment. one learns to liquify an iceberg by practicing with icicles.

love hurdles

if you're not loving everything that comes into your awareness, forgiving and compassionate towards even the "negative" things that present themselves both in the interior and exterior, it means a block to love is active within you.

you have the capacity to manifest love - towards yourself, other beings and even "things" - in its unhindered totality.

one great obstacle to love is the fear of exposure, vulnerability and the possibility of non-reciprocation. unless overcome, this block is self-fulfilling. fear of giving results in the non-expression of love; a stingy attitude that's unlikely to be met with love from others.

the giving of unconditional love is its own reward. love is complete in and of itself. it's a state of consciousness and a way of living in the world. when you love, you are the recipient of love, you are love.

transmitting

when you sense the ever-present and unchanging truth of what you are beneath the superficial roles you've created and cramped yourself into throughout your life (or at least tried to), there's no problem with playing one role or another because you no longer confuse them for the truth.

as your sense of identity becomes increasingly rooted in the indefinable, experiential truth of what you are, roles simply become roles and there's no fear of becoming something you don't want to become or failing to become something you want to become.

you are what you are, and can be nothing else. this isn’t a limitation; it’s a blessing.

when all your energy isn't bound up by the effort of transmitting the person you think you are or want to be to yourself and others, and as you deepen into the truth of what you are, the natural result is that you begin transmitting love.