lies are loud, truth is humble

not speaking runs counter to ego because the illusory self feels a constant need to assert itself.

if the belief in ego as the ultimate source of identity is to be perpetuated, a constant level of noisemaking must be maintained; otherwise, what existence would our fabricated identities have? it is thoughts, whether externally voiced or internally recorded, that are used to construct the highly complex and ultimately false body of evidence that, as long as we continue offering worship to, keeps us alienated from the simple experience of truth.

truth is that which doesn't require theatricity but is already (and immutably) real. as opposed to illusion, we don't have to do absolutely anything in order for truth to be real. nothing we do or fail to do, nothing that happens or fails to happen, can make reality any more or less real. in silence, then - the backdrop of which is always present - truth emerges of its own.

truth is not some philosophical concept or unattainable goal. it is very personal and very relevant. it is what we are.

opening eyes

opening eyes for the first time is like getting your head above water and breathing in air for the first time. after having been gone for an indeterminate amount of time, we are suddenly purely and intensely here.

in reality, we have periods of intense awareness sporadically throughout our lives, whether or not we practice to achieve them. but the nearly unbroken chain of mental identification that appears to take place within most of us most of the time can cast a surprisingly alluring spell on our attention, making us believe thoughts are indeed real and who we are is absolutely contingent upon a mental position.

accepting the presence of mental activity and being simultaneously aware of one's nature as the object-perceiving awareness rather than the object itself, life is approached from a different perspective, one that is not as strongly rooted to a limited sense of self but perceives its very essential nature as inextricably linked to everything it perceives.

when we suddenly realize that we are an aware presence encapsulated in a body with no true knowledge of why we find ourselves immersed in this human experience, we touch a true source of humility. we are ignorant to how exactly we've gotten here. it's as if we suddenly awoke within a dream and acknowledged to ourselves the fact that we don't know what this is or why we're here. we look and see with lucid unknowing. enlightened ignorance: the first step in any direction to finding out, since no answer can be provided without a question having been asked in some form or another.

while none of us will probably ever have all the answers, it is possible to arrive at a realization of one's existential, experiential nature that contrasts pretty vastly with what we may have been conditioned - or conditioned ourselves - to believe we were. being aware of one's ultimate nature as consciousness itself does not necessarily answer all questions, but with regard to one's sense of what one is it removes the need for a question to be formed in the first place. one is what one is as one feels oneself - not even that, since for one thing to feel another there has to be a perception of distinction; one firstly and primordially is, and all else comes after and falls within that.

to have a glimpse of awakeness as you're strolling from your car to work or school is like suddenly inhabiting an unsolved mystery, looking behind eyes that are as much an enigma as what they see. insects, trees, sky... what is it all? becoming passionate about finding the answer to this riddle we feel tugging on our very heartstings is the spark that will lead to a fire that will lead to a sudden flash of recognition: the recognition of something so obvious and intimate it is like we finally realized a truth that has been completely self-evident throghout every moment of our lives but has somehow managed to stay out of conscious awareness. since knowing what we are (by virtue of being it consciously) is the most relevant thing that could possibliy be, residing in a state of prevailing existential unconsciousness creates a deep-rooted and highly invested-in source of dysfunction, of unnecessary suffering.

life is not always easy but it can be an awe-filled, beautiful experience for which one feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude. it can be an adventure filled with adversity but on fire with passionate discovery and flooded by joy, contentment, and love. the alternative (the fear-driven life of ego-identification) is like hell compared to heaven.

the shift in human consciousness from "it's me against the world" to "i am a part of everything i see and everything i see is a part of me" is drastic and radical. it marks the beginning of the end of one thing, and the beginning of quite another. making unmistakable contact with our true nature may not solve all of the issues we think need solving, but it will resolve the one drive that, with or without our awareness, has provided the basis for every experience in our life.

stopping and listening

the process of awakening is actually quite simple: instead of dedicating all of your energy towards (creating, maintaining, evaluating, improving...) a mental conception of who you think you are or want to become, start paying attention to what you actually are. that's about all there is to be said about waking up: stop making noise and start listening.

the ego is what stands in the way of truth-realization, and thoughts pertaining to a mental image of self are what the ego is made of. as long as this mental idolatry is kept front and center stage, no room is left for real discovery.

one can read hundreds of books about enlightenment; meditate for decades; dip into innumerable practices, disciplines and philosophies; discuss spirituality constantly... but none of this guarantees anything at all. none of this produces enlightenment, because waking up is not merely a matter of "putting in time" or "acting spiritual." (to be fair, however, engaging in a spiritual lifestyle does have the potential to create a favorable context for realization).

waking up involves separating awareness from ego: observing it from a detached perspective; realizing gradually its nature as an impersonal, mechanical process that doesn't represent an individual will or entity; disentangling, knot by knot, the sense of self from it.

but in reality nothing has to be done to wake up. something has to be stopped. the awareness of truth can only be postponed through concealing action - continual effort that obscures the otherwise self-evident truth. unceasing investment in ego is what keeps one separated from moment to moment from the awareness of what one truly is.

this is what needs to be stopped, and this stopping is the only work that can be done to wake up. truth cannot be "gotten" or brought about; its light dawns of its own accord when we cease to create the conditions that obscure it from awareness.

many forms of so-called spirituality involve brushing the ego up, smoothing it over - creating a prettier mental image of self. this may provide certain benefits, but ultimately, it's a step in the wrong direction. the truth can only be approached when the mental self-image is laid down, when awareness frees itself from the object of its fascination - the ego - and comes back to rest upon itself as untouched and unconditioned consciousness.