stopping and listening

the process of awakening is actually quite simple: instead of dedicating all of your energy towards (creating, maintaining, evaluating, improving...) a mental conception of who you think you are or want to become, start paying attention to what you actually are. that's about all there is to be said about waking up: stop making noise and start listening.

the ego is what stands in the way of truth-realization, and thoughts pertaining to a mental image of self are what the ego is made of. as long as this mental idolatry is kept front and center stage, no room is left for real discovery.

one can read hundreds of books about enlightenment; meditate for decades; dip into innumerable practices, disciplines and philosophies; discuss spirituality constantly... but none of this guarantees anything at all. none of this produces enlightenment, because waking up is not merely a matter of "putting in time" or "acting spiritual." (to be fair, however, engaging in a spiritual lifestyle does have the potential to create a favorable context for realization).

waking up involves separating awareness from ego: observing it from a detached perspective; realizing gradually its nature as an impersonal, mechanical process that doesn't represent an individual will or entity; disentangling, knot by knot, the sense of self from it.

but in reality nothing has to be done to wake up. something has to be stopped. the awareness of truth can only be postponed through concealing action - continual effort that obscures the otherwise self-evident truth. unceasing investment in ego is what keeps one separated from moment to moment from the awareness of what one truly is.

this is what needs to be stopped, and this stopping is the only work that can be done to wake up. truth cannot be "gotten" or brought about; its light dawns of its own accord when we cease to create the conditions that obscure it from awareness.

many forms of so-called spirituality involve brushing the ego up, smoothing it over - creating a prettier mental image of self. this may provide certain benefits, but ultimately, it's a step in the wrong direction. the truth can only be approached when the mental self-image is laid down, when awareness frees itself from the object of its fascination - the ego - and comes back to rest upon itself as untouched and unconditioned consciousness.

everything changes. nothing changes.

paradoxes abound in the arena of spiritual awakening. one such paradox involves the concepts of change versus no change, or the possibility of doing something to effect awakening versus the idea that no sum of actions can produce such a state.

while on the surface these arguments seem to conflict, in truth they run parallel to one another and describe the process of awakening from alternate and equally valid perspectives.

on the one hand, undeniable changes take place during genuine spiritual development. habitual behaviors, tendencies of mind and emotional patterns are naturally shed as love replaces fear as our prevailing experience and the cornerstone of our relationship to life. goals that previously dominated our lives fizzle out and die, and a completely new way of being and reason for existing emerges.

and yet these very real changes only take place at the level of experience, thought, action. they are the natural byproducts of an abiding recognition of that which is ultimately changeless and ever-present within ourselves. the realization that nothing true about what we are ever has, can, or will change is what - seemingly paradoxically - brings about all of the changes in behavior typically associated with the awakened state.

but the cart should not be placed before the horse, since emulating the byproducts of awakening will never produce awakening itself. it would be as if someone shaved their head and laid in bed all day hoping to get cancer. forcing ourselves to act happy and nonjudgemental is exactly the type of repressive action that keeps us cut off from a direct confrontation with our true nature.

enlightenment cannot be brought about by action, but can be allowed to emerge naturally by ceasing to engage in the particular set of actions that have obscured it from our awareness. a certain kind of action is required in order to identify and relinquish these repressive behaviors, but it comes about through a more objective and non-manipulative stance than is traditionally associated with active involvement (it is more of an "allowing" than a "bringing about").

at some point in our spiritual development, then, we must accept that: (1) awakening or enlightenment is not what we imagined it to be, has not been tailored to specifically address our deepest desires and wildest fantasies; and (2) the part we can play in the process of awakening - if indeed the desire for it has matured sufficiently within us - does not in any way resemble pretending like we're already enlightened and free of conflict. it requires us to stop pretending, which on the level of behavior can take any number of forms (many of which don't exactly coincide with the idealized image of a serene, compassionate spiritual student).

ultimately, in order to awaken we've got to cut the crap and come face to face with all the shit we've been trying to avoid our entire lives. are we ready to do that? or would we rather keep on playing the game and deluding ourselves for a while? both options are fine, but the answer shows us whether or not we're truly serious about waking up.

love already understands

it's common knowledge that spiritual aspirants often confuse the quest for enlightenment as a drive to obtain and assimilate new information. spiritual awakening is actually a process of simplification. it involves the removal of obstacles, which take the form of beliefs about reality. information and beliefs are not inherently the enemy, but in the context of awakening they keep us separated from truth because they distract us from direct experience.

once the process of simplification reaches a point where there are no longer enough obstacles to eclipse the light of truth, realization occurs and understanding dawns in a natural way. information that was previously studied and incomprehensible is seen in a new light. from the previous standpoint, it was simply beyond reach, just as one can't see the contours of a forest when immersed within it no matter how hard one tries. the attempt to comprehend enlightenment intellectually is merely a diversionary tactic of the ego.

if one wants to emerge from the forest, one has to start walking up the mountain. it doesn't help to sit there under the trees and wonder about what the view's like from the mountaintop, or to merely read about and discuss others' accounts of that perspective. one simply starts taking steps, and while the view at the top is breathtaking, the steps themselves are just steps; nothing spectacular.