love hurdle # 2

another big obstacle to the giving of love: feeling like it's not deserved. this is also a stingy stance, and also self-fulfilling. non-loving treatment begets a non-loving response, thus apparently validating the belief that love wasn't deserved in the first place.

the argument that love should be given only when it's deserved is obviously flawed. according to its own logic, by taking a non-loving stance we're making ourselves undeserving. it creates a chain where nobody is willing to be the first to give.

the only way to break this cycle is by loving even when "it's not deserved." in practicing this, one eventually realizes that the word "deserve" has nothing to do with love. love is simply a potential factor that can be applied to any situation.

similarly, when heat meets ice, ice melts. the ice isn't deserving or undeserving; it either comes apart in the presence of sufficient heat, or maintains its rigid structure in its absence. deciding not to love someone because they're "unworthy" is like walking up to a block of ice and saying: "these water molecules don't deserve heat because they're frozen."

the sincere gift of love (equally beneficial to the giver and receiver) melts all ice. those who seem undeserving, if loved sincerely and sufficiently, change and suddenly seem deserving. in reality, they were neither undeserving nor deserving; they were simply responding to the absence or presence of love. even the most intimidating blocks of ice can be melted given the correct application of sufficient heat.

but beware: learn to love yourself sincerely and completely before you test the veracity of this last statement. approaching a large block of ice without sufficient knowlege of the nature of heat and how to apply it adequately can result in frustration and disenchantment. one learns to liquify an iceberg by practicing with icicles.