learning vs. self-defense

real growth can result when we choose learning over self-defense. this involves the willingness to accept the imperfect nature of our ego, which consists of an endlessly complex network of illusions, reactions and attachments.

initially, accepting this imperfection is difficult because of our level of identification with the ego; acknowledging its limitations seems tantamount to declaring ourselves "unworthy" or "bad."

with practice, however, sincerity towards the unproductive, unjustified and destructive habits of the ego is tremendously liberating and helps cultivate a healthy sense of humility and humor (there's great freedom in being able to laugh at the ego's foolish nature, in not taking it too seriously).

as we begin to assess our ego objectively, identification is naturally withdrawn from it. facing its limitations no longer entails a defeat but instead represents a victory in that we come one step closer to unearthing the unconscious programs that have been running our lives and concealing our natural propensity for happiness. we begin to clearly perceive a difference between our aware nature and the automatic, unconscious responses of the ego.

"being right" and "being perfect" is no longer a life or death matter once we realize that we are not our ego. when we're right, we win absolutely nothing; when we're wrong, we're not diminished in the slightest. realizing this takes pride out of the equation, allowing us to shine the light of awareness on aspects of our ego we had previously blinded ourselves to.

the pettiness of refusing to acknowledge the limitations of our ego is a huge price to pay for a self-defense mechanism that only serves to keep us entrenched in unconsciousness and suffering. bringing our limitations to light, on the other hand, can become a truly joyful act in that it facilitates the dissolution of yet another obstacle to true peace and happiness.