how stressful it can be when we try to force ourselves to be how we or others think we should be. it's a struggle that can't be won; in forcing, we create the very conditions for confusion and resulting unsatisfactory behavior.
if we can look back to the times in our life when we've been happiest with ourselves and correctly pick out the common factor, we'll see that these were times when we were on a roll, when things just came naturally to us in a spontaneous way.
the difference between censuring ourselves to fit a pre-established idea of how we want to be and honoring our true inner state is the difference between forcing and allowing. in forcing, we suppress our nature and spontaneity.
perhaps it's the belief that if we just passively "allowed" nothing would happen that spurs us to forcibly project certain character traits we've decided are appropriate in any given situation. but actually, when we release the pressure of having to put on an act and live up to expectations, our natural spontaneity is given the space it needs to emerge.
certainly, the move from forcing ourselves to be someone to allowing ourselves to be what we are requires a leap of faith. what stops us from releasing the tension we feel is necessary to maintain a presentable image to society is the fear that we'll become a boring, inert, near-dead vegetable - when in fact the opposite is true.
2 comments:
There is a lot in there. And the non forcing action is the most difficult to achieve. I think it involves a constant thinking of when to act and when to let go. The trick is that we sometimes must act and sometimes we must let go. The wisdom is to know when to do what. I think we can only pray and try to find ways to be in tune, in sync with this and remember there is karma involved to.
my understanding is that non-forcing is not an action but the lack of an action; the lack of forcing.
imagine someone who's splashing around in the water. you tell them to stop splashing around, but since they think all is achieved through movement or action, the ask: "and how do you perform non-splashing?"
it's not something you perform, you just have to stop what you're doing now and the water will settle.
and how do you do that? you don't. you DON'T DO. you stop doing, and the rest takes care of itself. it's not you who makes the water settle, it's your ceasing that allows it to settle all by itself.
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