we think we have a personality. we think we can do certain things, and can't do others: some things we do fall within the realm of our personality and if we do them, we're being ourselves, being sincere. some things don't, so if we do them we're being fake, pretending.
the truth is we're always pretending. or, we're never pretending, because behavior is irrelevant to what we are, is not the determinant of what we are. the truth of what we are is there, existing perfectly in every moment, independently of our body type, hair color, verbal or body language, the way we talk, the music we listen to, the way we tie our shoes.
as long as we hold on to the idea that our behavior determines who we are, there will be a great internal battle, a constant tension. there will be an exhausting fight to control our thoughts and actions, to make sure we adhere to the "person" we want to be.
sadly, this fight will never come to a conclusion because there can be no victor. there can be no victor because what we are is not a "person" but a "presence." if the person we want to be fights against the person we are, attention is taken away from our simple nature of impersonal presence.
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